


Fine. Whatever.

by Reyanth



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced BDSM, Implied/Referenced Drowning, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 02:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30132594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyanth/pseuds/Reyanth
Summary: While Cherry's recovering from his beef with Adam, Joe broaches a sensitive topic and learns far more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe & Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom, Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom & Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Kudos: 14





	Fine. Whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 9 gave me terrible, terrible thoughts about the dynamic between Cherry and Adam. I wanted to explore a little, but not in any kind of graphic detail. I also decided not to tell people what they should think about it, so I eliminated narration from the equation. Please think of this conversation like a radio play or drama CD. We're just flies on the wall.
> 
> Note: Not all of the tags are directly relevant, but further implications could be taken by what's unsaid, so I included such tags, just in case.

"You think I don't know?"

"Know what, Kojiro?"

"That you were in love with Adam. Still are."

"Don't be ridiculous. Who could love that monster?"

"That's what I ask myself every time I look at you... After the things he's done to you, Kaoru..."

"It was a skateboard to the face. I've eaten pavement harder than that."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"Then why don't you stop beating around the bush and say what you really mean?"

"He said he's bored with you... That's because he's had you. In every way imaginable. So many times there's nothing left to excite him. Tell me I'm wrong."

"What's your point, asshole?"

"He was sweet once, wasn't he? Ainosuke. Used to take you softly, make you feel good... Maybe he even let you fuck him a few times, just testing the waters... But it didn't stay that way. Not if he played with you enough to get bored. I saw you limping, sometimes... Saw the bruises... He even tried to strangle you once or twice, right? There was one time you could barely talk, and your throat was all bruised under the scarf... It was Spring, and already getting warmer. I knew exactly what'd happened... Say something."

"Why? You never did. You say you knew, all along...and never said or did anything."

"You didn't want me to. I didn't know what the right answer was. I didn't really get it back then... I still don't... But you loved him, even though he hurt you. Even though he wasn't Ainosuke anymore. Cherry... That persona that hides behind a mask... That's how you came to terms with it all. I knew that. And I knew, if I'd gotten in the way, you never would have spoken to me again."

"So you put yourself first."

"I trusted you knew what you wanted."

"Then we're both idiots."

"No arguments there. At least, not when it comes to Adam..."

"He hung me upside down once... Stood on a box and fucked me while the blood rushed to my head. I don't remember much. I passed out. Just like the time he held my held under water until I drowned. When I came to, I was lying on the tiles, my ass slick with his pleasure... He really came a lot, that time."

"I don't want to hear this."

"Isn't that why you started this conversation? To shame me? To make me confess everything?"

"I just want to know why. Why Adam? Why still? Did you like it...? The things he did to you...? The things you—?"

"It disgusts me. I disgust me. That's not Adam's fault. He did those things, but I'm the one who let him. Me. Kaoru. Sometimes, I did like it... Sometimes, it felt freeing to have all the power taken out of my hands, to be shocked and terrified... Not good, but... Something. But that's the thing... It was only because it was Adam."

"Are you saying you trusted him?"

"Never. I still don't know what he's thinking most of the time. He could have killed me at any point and I wouldn't have been surprised...and I would have accepted it."

"And now?"

"Now...? If Adam took enough interest in me to kill me, I'd be overjoyed. I know the truth now. He doesn't care enough to hate me, let alone love me. I'm just a worn-out experiment to him."

"It kills me to know you'd choose a man who tears you up like this in a heartbeat if it was an option. I'd give everything I have to make you happy if you'd let me."

"You'd smother me. I'd lose myself in you. At least Adam let me be myself, even if 'myself' is totally messed up. You'd need to change me. We're not compatible, Kojiro."

"You don't know that."

"Sure I do. You think I piss you off now? If we were having sex, you'd just feel you had a right to try and improve me to your standards. You'd resent me for being who I am, even more than you do now."

"I don't resent you..."

"You love me. It's basically the same thing."

"That's... That's Adam talking... This is what he's done to you."

"It would be easier...if you could blame everything you think is wrong with me on Adam... But wrong or right, it's who I am, in the first place. Why else would I fall for someone like him? Let it go, Kojiro. Stop trying to fix me."

"Maybe... Maybe you could fix me. If you don't want to change... Then change me."

"I like you just the way you are. You're missing the most important thing... It isn't love that makes me happy. Love is my own personal hell...and you're the only thing that keeps me from burning up in it. I'm happiest when you rub me up the wrong way. I can't afford for that to change."

"And what if I can't live with that?"

"You can. This is what you get, so if you love me, you'll stick around and suffer alongside me."

"I don't know who's crueler. You, or Adam."

"Oh, definitely Adam. Believe me. He's got that one in the bag."

"Please, no more stories."

"Fine. If you promise never to bring this up again."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"F... Whatever."

**Author's Note:**

> Will this be the last I write on this topic? Who knows. Future episodes may inspire me to write a full story around it, but for now, don't expect too much.


End file.
